DISAPPOINTED

DISAPPOINTED

BY JOHN TUFT

Douglas sat on the porch watching the approaching storm. It was one of his favorite things to do. When dark clouds begin to gather, he would hustle to his front row seat. The roiling mass of angry energy manifested as the cynosure of Mars on the march against the enemies of the Roman Empire. Shattering all foes in the onrush of brute force, flashing swords of lightning, shrieks of the ungodly winds like ghouls falling in the battle for the hearts and minds through sheer terror. Douglas reveled in the heavenly combat. Storms never disappointed.

Eileen was terrified of storms. As a child, when it stormed, Eileen would run to her bedroom, pull the covers up to her chin and bury her face in the pillows. As the wind howled, and thunder shook the house she would fervently pray for protection. Her mind raced with disaster scenarios. What if lightning hit the big tree in the front yard? It would split in half and come crashing down on the roof and into her bedroom. What if a car on the road out front skidded out of control and smashed through the porch into the living room right below where she lay? Try as she might, her fears never disappointed.

Max was the minister at a small community church in a small town, next to the river that provided the town’s lifeblood. He preached as faithfully as he could manage, looked after the good people who sought comfort and inspiration. Max liked taking long walks up into the hills that surrounded the town so he could think and pray and plan and hope and worship in his own quiet way. As he walked, Max tried to visualize the different families that were churched and unchurched. He murmured a prayer for the sick and the grieving, the hopeful and the hopeless. This communion with the spiritual realm never disappointed.

Sarah led a house church in a large metropolitan area. The streets around the old apartment building were lined with encampments of the homeless. The members of the house church were raising money to buy old, abandoned church buildings to convert into cheap housing for all comers. The good intentions were there but progress was slow. Some wanted to seek government help while others were dead set against that. Some wanted to pray for divine guidance and others wanted to play hardball with local political leaders. Frictions were becoming harsher, and some were hinting of breaking off into a new church group and doing things their way. Sarah often went to the rooftop of the building at night, her heart in a turmoil. The competitions of the saints never disappointed.

Marie cherishes the love of her life. Thad is quiet, studious, a charmer, anticipates her needs, listens and all the other attributes that make her feel so fortunate to have found him. They have been together for fifteen years now. She loves her work as a nurse, seeing people get healthy, being able to do her job and then come home to someone who is glad to see her and spend time with her interests. One sore spot is although they have tried everything, Marie has not been able to get pregnant. It’s just not in the cards. She feels she has a lot to offer in being a mom but is lacking the suitable biological environment. They discuss adoption, but in the end they always decide for what they have now. Their love for each other is never disappointed.

Jonathan is seeking the love of his life, his soulmate. Lonely and bored seem to be the most used descriptors of his own existence. Wouldn’t it be great to find the right one? Loneliness feels so crushing to his spirit. Having someone to share in activities, have fun together, that sounds like heaven to Jonathan. Then he met Jasmine. Jasmine checked all the right boxes. Beautiful, engaging personality, intelligent, funny and he could not get enough of her. She understood him so well. He could just be himself with her. It was sheer joy. But, unfortunately, Jasmine decided she did not feel the same way about Jonathan. She needed to move on. I don’t have to tell you how Jonathan felt. There is one true definition above all others of disappointed.

The spectrum of being disappointed. The specter of disappointment. Hopes or expectations not realized. Not getting what we wanted or expected. One of life’s early lessons. It’s a universal human feeling. To never be disappointed is to have missed a lot in life while believing we are missing the best part of life we desire. The conundrum of being disappointed. Disappointed is a gateway. To what? That’s up to us…

Words are magic and writers are wizards.