ON THE BUS
ON THE BUS
BY John Tuft
Jubal got up one morning and decided that this was going to be the day he found God. He’d been told somewhere, by someone, that there was a bus stop you could go to and wait. Eventually a bus would come along that would take you to meet God. If you’re interested in knowing about this bus stop, you’re going to need an active imagination and a humble spirit, just so you know. Jubal made himself some peanut butter toast with bacon on top, put the rest of the bacon in a baggie for lunch and picked up a big bag of M&Ms for snacking, and set off for the bus stop. He crossed over rivers, sweated across deserts, and climbed rock-strewn mountains before he found the bus stop, in a clearing, deep in the forest, beside a single lamppost that shone day and night.
No one else was around, which surprised Jubal, as his understanding was that everyone wants to meet God. Finally, he heard the growl of a diesel engine in the distance. Through the trees, he spotted a bus that looked like it came from the Partridge Family(Google it) castoffs. It was covered with a wild patchwork of different colors and shapes and skidded to a stop in front of him with a cloud of choking dust and fumes. The door squealed open and there was the driver, a large Black woman in the costume of Aunt Jemima. “Wait a damn minute,” protested Jubal, not insensitive to cultural issues. “You’re acting like a stereotype.” Aunt Jemima exclaimed, “Do you want to meet God? He is only the biggest cultural stereotype on the face of the earth!” Jubal’s mouth dropped open. “Get in child,” she exclaimed. “Time waits for no man and no man waits for time.”
The bus started with a jolt that sent Jubal sprawling in the aisle. “Oops,” exclaimed AJ. “Why you wanting to meet the Lord Almighty in the first place? You humans don’t know any better. Any sense of the Big Guy can only be done from what you know. And y’all don’t even know what you don’t know!” Jubal got into a seat, checked that the snack supply was okay, and replied, “Because I got something to say.” AJ nodded sagely. “Well, I can’t take no empty bus to God. The bus gotta be full before we get to The God Place.” Jubal thought about it. “Aren’t there others who want to find God? I can’t be the only one.” AJ shrugged. “All I know is orders are no empty busses. First one on has to choose who else gets the Divine Ride.” All Jubal could manage was, “Huh.” He decided maybe chocolate would help him think.
Two handfuls of M&Ms in, Jubal had some inspiration. “Orphans,” he exclaimed, with the enthusiasm of a Bible college spiritual revival convert. “Let’s go round up some orphans. They need to meet God.” So, AJ took the route to an orphanage. Jubal hopped out and found the Mother Superior in charge. “I need to take some orphans to meet God,” he explained. “Meet God?” asked the sister. “These children need homes, the love of parents, structure and security. Will meeting God provide those?” Jubal didn’t know what to say. “Will you take them on the bus to those homes?” Jubal realized he was trapped. “Sorry, I can’t right now, Sister. Maybe after I meet God, and then I can get that taken care of.” And he got back on the bus where AJ didn’t say a word, except, “Where next?” Jubal broke out the bacon. Sugar and protein always made him think better.
It worked. “AJ,” he yelled. “Homeless. Take me somewhere that homeless people are.” AJ rolled her eyes. “You ever been around them people before?” Jubal shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I’m offering them something they can’t resist.” AJ guided the bus to a downtown section of a city with encampments under the overpasses, tents along the sidewalks, discarded needles and junk food wrappers mixed with used diapers and human excrement. Jubal hopped out and tried to round up some God tourists. But they all resisted. One man told him, “We’re already considered the shit of humanity. What’s to be gained by meeting the inventor of shit?” Jubal was stunned. “But God is everything you ever wanted.” A woman of indeterminate age with no teeth, grabbed his sleeve. “Give me some hope, Mister, and I’ll go anywhere.” Jubal broke free and got back on the bus.
AJ held her mind. Finally, Jubal suggested, “How about a church? Surely they want to meet God.” AJ sighed and the whole bus shook. She took him to the First Presbyterian Church there in the downtown, big steeple, big endowment, big sanctuary. Jubal wandered in, not sure of whom to ask. He knocked on the Senior Pastor’s door. A gracious, well spoken, man ushered him in. Jubal stated his purpose. “Funny that you bring that up,” said SP. “I’m just about finished with my book on spiritual development and the spiritual journey. I could be your spiritual director, if you’d like. I can schedule you in for an hour every other week.” Jubal tried. “But what about meeting God?” SP smiled and looked serenely condescending. “That’s what we’re all after, Jubal.” Jubal protested, “But I have the bus right outside. I have to fill it before I can meet…” SP handed him a business card and ushered him out.
Back on the bus, Jubal was despondent. “Take me home. I’m never going to meet God.” AJ drove him back to the clearing in the forest. Before he got off, he turned to AJ. “Why does the bus have to be full?” AJ smiled. “It’s a crazy ride. Company of others is the only way to go.” Jubal offered her the rest of his M&Ms. “Child, you know not what you do,” she murmured as she accepted. “The gift of you is the gift of God. I thank you.” As the crazy bus pulled away, Jubal started back home, somehow feeling that he was the most blessed man on earth.
Words are magic and writers are wizards.
